Think Twice Before Depending On Your Kids To Be Your Caregivers In Your Old Age

If you grew up in a multigenerational household, you probably have fond memories of family togetherness.  You could find a friend in your grandparents when your parents were too impatient with your childish behavior, and your parents understood what the then-contemporary world was like in ways that your grandparents did not.  You remember the family meals and the spontaneous kitchen table conversations with whichever family member happened to be in the mood for a midnight snack at the same time as you were, but you might not have known how stressful the whole situation was for your parents and grandparents.  Maybe you didn’t understand everything your elders said when they bickered in your heritage language, or maybe you took it for granted that your parents were always grumpy, and you just thought that it was because they were determined to be miserable in any situation.  It is hard to know how family caregiving feels from an elder’s perspective until you have experienced it.  In a recent article on Business Insider, Orrin Onken, a retired elder law attorney, explains the things that can go wrong when people’s retirement plans involve a multigenerational household; based on his clients’ experiences, he has decided that when he and his wife can no longer live independently, they will move to an assisted living facility instead of having one of their children move in with them.  For help thinking through your plans to age in place or move to an assisted living facility, contact an Orlando estate planning lawyer.

Burnt Out Family Caregivers Contribute to Generational Poverty

Onken points out that elder care is a full-time job.  The employees of long-term care facilities get paid to do it, and more importantly, they get to go home after their shift and disconnect from the stress of work.  Yes, it can be disastrous when long-term care facilities are understaffed and the employees are burnt out, but the family home is its own abyss of burnout.

He also emphasizes that the sons and daughters who act as full-time caregivers to their parents are usually in their 50s, which is when they are at their peak in terms of earning employment income.  They can create generational wealth by accepting big responsibilities at work, now that their children are grown up, thereby creating generational wealth.

When One Sibling Takes on All the Caregiving Responsibility, Everyone Is Resentful

The full-time caregiver sibling can easily feel resentful, but so can everyone else.  The parents might feel that the caregiver is just using them for free housing and not taking her caregiving responsibilities seriously.  The other siblings might think that the caregiving is cozying up to the parents to exert undue influence on their will; Onken has even seen the other siblings petition the court for a guardianship for this reason.

Contact Gierach and Gierach About Preparing for Long-Term Care

An estate planning lawyer can help you build an estate plan complete with manageable plans for long-term care.  Contact Gierach and Gierach, P.A. in Orlando, Florida to discuss your case.

Source:

businessinsider.com/retired-children-care-assisted-living-2025-4